Why this baby is a miracle

I was a late bloomer. I didn’t get my period for the first time until I was 16. Maybe because I was too skinny, or didn’t consume enough dairy. Well, when it came it was like a hurricane. Or a wrecking ball. Mother Nature was confused. There were times that I was bleeding every two weeks. Then, other times, it wouldn’t make it’s appearance for months on end. By age 19, I was on birth control to control Aunt Flow. An ultrasound showed cysts on my ovaries, and the Doctor told me that I had what they call Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). Long story short, Doc told me if/when I had kids one day it wouldn’t be easy.

Fast forward ten years later. I’m married, in love, and ready to have a baby. So I go off the pill (finally) and things are once again whacked out. But this time I take every measure I can to try and regulate myself naturally. Weekly acupuncture, daily chinese herbs, working out regularly, and watching my diet. Things take time, but they begin shaping up about 8 months into it. Which is also right around the time my husband noticeably stops sleeping with me. I’m dressing in lingerie and giving out lap dances but he would rather poke me with a ten foot pole. I’m tracking my ovulations daily, and I’m not ovulating. We get close, Aunt Flow starts coming semi-regularly. I.e. every 45 days. But it’s a start. And I get really excited.

Then my husband explodes. He gets mad out of nowhere and literally stops sleeping with me. On the couch every night. Weeks go by and it feels like everything around me crumbles. The life we built, the baby we wanted, turns into dust. I’ll never forget the worse lie he told me, “I still want a family, just not with you.” But the strangest thing happened. I ovulate days after he leaves the house. Then Aunt Flow becomes regular. Like every 35 days regular. And I become normal. Happy and normal, after years of battling cysts. They’re even smaller than normal on ultrasound. But of course my Doc still thinks having a baby won’t be easy. “No problem, Doc. I’m not even trying anymore.”

But my heart was broken. I was ready to start a family. The idea of starting over scared me. Actually, the very next guy I dated seemed to get way too serious way too fast so I dumped him after only a few weeks. I decided that I just wanted to date without any ties or commitment. Fast forward a year and a half and I notice my normally somewhat regular (every 35-40 days) period is late. I don’t even blink since it seems like I have all the regular period-like symptoms but I pee on a stick just to clear my mind.

When it comes back positive, I try another one. Determined the two tests weren’t right due to them being expired, I go out and buy new tests and try again the next day. Four positive pregnancy tests later, I’m in shock. How could this be? After trying with no avail, here I am miraculously pregnant. Well, not like Virgin Mary miracle, but close in my mind. Never in all my years did I think I could get pregnant easily. Without effort. My first thought is that it’s a miracle. God spared me from having a baby with the wrong person. But all along He knew I would have a baby. Just not quite the way I thought.

I’m so thankful for this miracle that God gave me. The ability to have a baby after my journey is so exciting. I can’t wait to meet my mini-me and already love him or her with all my heart.


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