The struggle to love unconditionally


Love as the media shows it is not true love. It’s the love where you are happy and showered with all the feels, until it gets hard. Then it’s time to break up and move on to the next. This illusion of plenty of fish in the sea, and maybe the lie of that perfect person for us keeps us unsatisfied until we end up alone and grumpy wondering where we went wrong.

Most of my life, I have struggled to learn and apply unconditional love in all of my relationships. I’m talking family, friends and most importantly romantic relationships. And the biggest struggle I face is unconditionally loving people who can’t love me back.

Both historically (my exes) and currently, there are and have been people in my life that I have and still love wholeheartedly who don’t have the capacity love me back. I won’t drop names, but there is someone in my life right now where I have to sit and meditate, take several deep breaths, before composing myself to respond to him in the most loving way I can.

But he already rejected me months ago, and even without that I know he doesn’t have the ability to love me back. At least, not the way I love him. And I’m not going to lie, there are nights where I just feel like crying. But each day gets better, because God gives me the strength to continue loving him the way Jesus loves me. And I pray that one day, he too will know and understand that type of love. The one where there are no limits. Without conditions. The way love is supposed to be.

5 thoughts on “The struggle to love unconditionally

  1. I love this post, Jen! There is something about unconditional love that cannot be explained, but I you are so right about the love of God. He will show you that love, whether or not it can be expressed by man alone. Hoping your significant other can see the same love you have to offer! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well written. Roy has a good idea, the person may love you differently than you love him, or differently than you want him to love you. You said he already rejected you, so maybe that’s not it, and I applaud your strength in being able to continue to love him from a different place without expectations. That is huge.


  3. I think it’s okay to love from a distance or minimize contact with someone who makes you cry. It’s a loving thing to do – for yourself.


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