First of all, before I dive into the topic of my dating life, I must pre-cursor with: I am completely and utterly full of joy in every aspect of my life. My career, my education (on-going), my family, my friends, and my faith. Everything literally feels like a dream. Needless to say, I have zero complaints. Except for one. My singleness. But not enough to lower my standards. Or settle for less.
See, recently someone told me I can’t afford to be picky. Maybe because I have a daughter and want another kid. Maybe because I’m not getting any younger. Maybe because it would be really nice to have someone to help me grow in all aspects of life: financially, physically, and mentally. But no where in any of that is what God wants for my life. See, it’s easy to give excuses as to why I could just settle for the next guy who swipes right on me (if I ever go back on the apps lol). Or I could start building a case to go backwards and just accept someone who doesn’t value me as much as I should be valued. But in doing any of these things, I lose myself and what brings me joy.
Why should I walk away from my joy-filled life only to check a box? And while a good, healthy partnership is way more than a box, right now without that good, healthy relationship waiting on my doorstep it is just a box to check off. And at the end of the day, I have to focus on the most important things in my life. My daughter is important, my faith is important, my well-being is important. See, I love myself and I love Jesus. And I love others. I have so much love sometimes it’s overwhelming. But no where did God say it’s ok to love those who don’t love you back. Or, rather, you can love but with boundaries.
I think these past four years since my husband left me in late 2016 I’ve struggled with my self-worth and value. See, I believed the lies the devil told me that I wasn’t worth it. I still battle these lies daily, but I know that I am beyond worth it. I know that I am powerful but not powerful enough to ruin God’s plan for my life. And so far, from what I’ve seen, it’s a glorious plan. Even if it includes me being single. I have all the love and joy I need.
I’ll leave you all with this piece of wisdom:
Tutoring With Jen 
Same. I blogged about this as well. When I look around, I see people in relationships that feel trapped. People that feel that they are better than you because they are in these relationships. People that think that their worth is reflected in the fact that they are married. It’s not. My parents have been married 50 years and it was hell for us. It shapes us into who we become in relationships. Then we have to unlearn it and figure out the healthy way to be in a relationship.
Shoot, there’s nothing wrong with being one of the Golden Girls and chillin in Florida. LOL
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This post was truly worthwhile to read. I wanted to say thank you for the key points you have pointed out as they are enlightening.
Check my book The Two Sides of Being Single: A Biblical Perspective is a book that is dedicated to single Christians who are either desiring to maintain a single Christian life or who are seeking God to bless them with a husband or a wife.
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